[Note: Due to space constraints, we have had to combine Keith's bio with his personal ad, his resume, and the ad he placed to sell his car.]
I was born in August 1975 to parents who bred in me a good solid work ethic and an attention to detail that is sure to come in handy in what position the company feels me best suited for. I enjoy fine dining and moonlit walks on the beach, and I will regale you with tales of classic lovers from literature, such as the tragedy of Romeo and Juliet and its implications for the state of industry in modern society. Afterward, we can go for a romantic drive in the country in my new 1997 Dodge pickup which has never been in an accident and goes for nearly $2,000 blue book value. I can speak six different languages, which will help me relate to the company's many international clients, including the universal language of love. I will also share romantic poetry with you which I downloaded onto my computer which I can program in seven different programming languages including Logos, C+, and Basic, and which I can transcribe onto the internet thanks to my typing skills which are in excess of 40 words a minute.
My childhood was relatively uneventful. It was upon reaching college that I met the person who was to become my mentor in life, and who also taught me many interpersonal skills which I can utilize in a variety of work environments. Things I have learned include leadership and financial responsibility, which I can certainly bring into any long-term relationship or marriage. My goals are to achieve a position of prominence within a major organization, find true love, and receive between $700 and $900 for this fine automobile.